Dear Pastor,

I hope you are well. I am having a problem. I am 50 years old. My husband, who was 51, died. Since his death, he hasn't stopped troubling me for sex.

Sometimes I am in my deep sleep and feel him on me. When I jump out of my sleep, I have to rebuke him.

Pastor, I know he was a man who liked his sex, but I didn't realise a dead man could still function that way.

When he died my older sister told me I should change the colour of my underwear so he couldn't return and molest me. however, I didn't. I thought it was foolishness, although I did not tell my sister I don't believe in those things. Sometimes I could feel and smell him. I know when he is in the room. I have a new boyfriend and we have been sleeping together. My husband placed himself between us. I thought I was touching my boyfriend. I was not and I had a very weird feeling.

I know some people don't believe that after a person dies he can still roam. Pastor, do you believe that when a man's wife is dead he should wear red underpants and a widow should wear red underwear? Should she throw away the old ones? Friends tell me she should only wear the old ones in the daytime, but at nights she should wear the red ones.

My boyfriend tells me he knows when the man comes in the room, if he comes back he is going to tell him some bad words because that is the only way to get rid of him. My husband was a good man so I don't want anybody to disrespect him. This was his house and we used to live happily together. My children are abroad and I don't want them to know I am seeing another man. I am not ready to tell them that, so please advise me.

E.T

Dear E.T,

I have been told about dead men having sex with their widows and dead women having sex with widowers. This is not news to me. Some people may not agree with me but I do not believe your husband has anything to do with what you are saying.

Perhaps if it were possible for him to know what you are saying about him, he would be very disappointed in you. Your husband is dead. Do I really need to remind you that he is, and that he has no power?

Well, that is exactly what the Bible says, "The dead has no power. For the living know that they shall die, but the dead know not anything. Neither have they anymore a reward, for the memory of them is forgotten. Also their love and their hatred and their envy is now perished. Neither have they any more a portion forever in anything that is done under the sun." (Ecclesiastes 9: 5-6).

When Solomon said the dead knows nothing, he means, once you die, you can't change what you have done, and you are not actively involved in anything.

Superstitious people do things that are contrary to the Scripture. Nothing I say to you will cause you to not believe that your dead husband is molesting you. Your new boyfriend is making you believe, indeed, your former husband is coming around and finding his place in your bed. I would suggest you start to go to church. Read your Bible, pray and stop accusing your dead husband of sexual harassment.

Pastor