Dear Pastor,

I am 27 years old and I got myself into trouble when I was living in the USA, so I am back in my homeland and trying to adjust. I didn't know anybody here when I came back to Jamaica because every member of my family lives abroad.

After I was here for three months I met a woman and she took me in. She did not tell me that she was married but divorced. She told me she wanted a gardener to live in and to take care of the place when she was not around. From the very outset I loved this woman and I could see she loved me too.

Whenever I wanted to go out she would question me and ask me what time I'll be in, and where I was going and why. She used to have a man visiting her but I noticed the man stopped a few weeks after I went to live there. When I asked her what happened to the man she said that she told him not to come back, and I am the reason why she stopped him from coming.

Pastor, don't consider me rude but this woman made me feel good in bed and I didn't have to ask her for sex. She invited me to sleep with her and she felt like a young girl.

My sisters who live in America wanted to come to Jamaica and she told me to let them come and stay at the house with us. She treated them well. One of my sisters liked her but the other told me that she was too old for me and she will soon have to do plastic surgery. I was vexed by what she said.

This woman doesn't have any children. I am finding out, dear Pastor, that this woman always liked young men. I am not the first. The helper next door told me that before I came there another young man used to visit her and that was part of the reason why her husband left her, but she ran the guy because she accused him of stealing her money. I have never had so much money. Since I am here with her I have been able to save. I save most of what I earn. She has the passbook for my account but only my name is in it. She can be very bossy but she can be very nice.

The people in the area don't know that I am a deportee. I am supposed to stay in the helper's room but there is no helper. I cannot tell when last I have slept in there. Even when she goes abroad I have the whole house for myself, and I have only ever taken another woman there once.

I don't know what to do. I am trying to get her to buy a car for me so I could run taxi, but she says that I would have to work many years with her before she does that for me. What do you think I should do?

E.G.

Dear E.G.

You did not give this woman's age but if she is looking so young, she takes very good care of herself. Some may call her a cougar. She might say, however, that she is just lucky. You were sent back to Jamaica, but who is more fortunate, this woman or you? You came back to Jamaica almost empty-handed and both of you found each other and she offered you a job as a gardener. And evidently, she graduated you to a position that was much higher.

Both of you became so comfortable with each other that you ended up being lovers and having sex. It is evident that she cares about you. The relationship between you and this woman became so tight that her regular male visitor ceased from coming to the house.

There are many women who used men as gardeners or drivers and as their lovers at the same time. You just happen to be one of these men.

I believe that although you are grateful to this woman for help, you wish to try and get away from her. You are like a slave in her house. That's not how a normal man wants to live. You feel trapped and one way for you to get out is to beg her to help you buy a car to do taxi work. But this woman is no fool; she is going to try and get as much out of you for as long as she can. So, if you don't want to stay with her forget this taxi business and try and find another place to live.

By the way, you shouldn't have taken another woman into her house. I cannot encourage you to remain with this woman. She will not marry you and you would always be her little boy. The excitement of going to bed with this woman has already started to wane. Seek another job and leave that woman's place.

Pastor