Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our soon coming King. I am having a problem and would like your advice. I am married for a little over one year now. My wife and I have been having problems for a while now. I won't lie to you because I want to know what is going on. I have made a lot of mistakes in my marriage. I have cheated on my wife with other women and my wife found out, from then we have been having our little ups and downs. I promised her that I will change and we agreed that we should not communicate with each other's exes.

In less than a week, I caught her on the phone speaking to her ex-boyfriend who came from prison. I was upset, but we talked things over. I always accused her of cheating on me, which I had no proof of at the time.

I admit that I am a very jealous man, but since her ex-boyfriend came from prison things got worse. Whenever she gets a text from him she would delete it and leave only the ones that I sent her. Her ex-boyfriend called and threatened me and I have spoken to her about it and she has done nothing. It has reached to the point where we have broken up and are now planning to get a divorce. She told him, in my presence, she will never go back to him and I believed her.

I came home from work one morning and caught her sending him a text message, saying that he must not text or call her because I am home and that she will call him when she is on her way to work.

Pastor, do you think she is having an affair with her ex-boyfriend? I await your response, and may God continue to bless you.

C.C.

Dear C.C.,

Your wife is trying to fool you. She is not through with the man you consider to be her ex. They are not behaving like exes, they are behaving as lovers. Your wife loves this man and probably loves him more than you. Both of you are cheaters. But I believe that there is still hope for the relationship if both of you would respect each other and leave out your lovers.

Both of you should agree to go and see a family counsellor and discuss your problems. It will not be easy, because you both don't trust each other. Both of you need God in your lives. This man needs to stop threatening you and texting your wife. She can put a stop to it if she wants to. But she has not made any serious effort in doing so. I wish you well, brother.

You can't point your finger at your wife because you are no better; but your wife is wild, too wild.

Pastor