Dear Pastor,

I have been married for two years. My husband and I are always fighting in the mornings when I am supposed to be up and getting ready for work. It is at that time that my husband is feeling horny. I work hard and I prefer to have sex at nights before I sleep. But even when I try to compromise and have sex with my husband at nights, he wants it early in the morning. And this is causing a fuss. Even when my husband ejaculates, he is still hard and wants more.

One day, I almost crashed the car because he refused to take me to work unless I had sex with him because that morning he was not going to work. I took the keys and got into the car and drove out and almost hit another vehicle. I stopped the car, turned around, gave my husband what he wanted, and he took me to work late. When I got to work, I had to lie about getting to work late.

We do not have children. The doctor told my husband that he has a low sperm count. He told him what to do to build up the sperm count, which includes not having sex regularly. But he is not listening. I would like to have a child.

Apart from my husband being very greedy for sex, he is a good man. I try to meet his needs. He asked me one day if I would prefer for him to go to another woman when he feels for sex. I would rather die than see that happen, but it's not easy meeting his sexual needs.

T.E.

Dear T.E.,

Try your very best to meet the sexual needs of your husband. You know that you have a good man. I can understand that you feel that he is not considerate because of his frequent demand for sex in the mornings, however, I would have you know that this is a regular routine for many couples. Some women look forward to it. Others consider it disgusting, especially when they believe that it would last long and cause them to be late for work. That is why couples should have a good understanding.

As you know, communication is the key to a happy relationship. Perhaps both of you need to go to bed earlier and then wake up a couple hours earlier than usual. Make love and then go back to bed and sleep for a while before you finally prepare to go to work. The only problem about that is that your husband might want you to do it again, so it might become a double dose in the morning.

There is a bright side to this thing. You can insist that he follows the advice of the doctor. Let the doctor tell you how often both of you can have sex. And after both of you have met the quota, so to speak, you say no to him, regardless of his fussing.

I have known men who have had a low sperm count and have followed the advice of their doctors, and as a result, have impregnated their wives. That can happen to you if your husband is wise and exercises restraint.

Pastor