Mi sumn longer dan ah knife

Me'll damage yu fi spite

Wen u cum inna mi ramping shop

Mi will bruck yu back

Wen mi long tool attack

Wen u cum inna mi ramping shop

Shut up! And tap tell lie!

Sum ah unnu claim fi have hammer wen ah really nail unnu have!

Men what is this obsession with having a third leg?!

Why suh much ah unnu aspire fi av sumn weh mi can heng clothes pan or sumn wha mi can use pick lime offa tree?!

Suh for those of you who still have the newspaper in your hands and haven't thrown it down cuz yu think this article is written to disrespect men, let's take a little journey into the mind of a woman (me) who may have a few pointers to give on inches and effect.

Gentlemen, my beautiful kings. The first thing to know before even approaching the opposite sex is what your attributes are. What are your intimate strengths? What do you naturally and intimately enjoy? Based on past intimate experiences, what moves gave you the most rave reviews? These are a few basic questions; however, the most important question is, are you willing to learn?!

For the purpose of this article, let's call your genital your instrument. There are many things that commercially cater to your instrument - Viagra, elongate, pumps, you name it. According to the commercials, your instrument can claim it.

no melody

Nonetheless, despite the boasting about length and the various fancy items to enhance, what good is an instrument if you don't know how to play it?! Yuh chat bout it, yuh hype bout it, unnu all write song bout it, but unnu still nuh know how fi use it! It's like a grand piano wha off key! No music, no melody, no rhythm! Just completely off key!

Men understand that despite, how some women claim dat dem nuh want nuh short short man, if dat short short man kno how fi connek him shortage, it can produce high voltage!

It's all in the usage! The flirting, the foreplay, the confidence, the connection, the setting, ensure se nuh matter what your short comings are yu leave yu mark! If yu have a hammer, mek sure yu hammer efficiently well, and if yu have a nail, mek sure se everyting connek and batten down! Dem se mustard seed move mountains, suh mek sure se your mustard seed move her mountain!

Know what your partner's desires are and if yu can't meet all ah dem, at least try to meet some. Being boastful about inches is very predictable, boring, and truly mek yu sound and look stupid. Jus get the job done suh at the end of di day yu not only get a raise, but yu get a standing ovation!

FEEL FREE TO CHAT WITH ME BY EMAILING ME AT KEEPINGITREALRENNAE@GMAIL.COM OR TWEET ME @LADYRENNAE

SIZE OR USAGE?