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October 17, 2013
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Shell dung church mix-up

Waaaiiieee!!!!! Wa a gwaan mi peeps?? Big up di Tambareen Fambily an all Mixup linky-linky. An bless up to all Ragashanti Live listeners pon Tambourine Radio ova tambourineradio.com. Big up unu good-good mixup self.

Mi seh, mi have a piece a church mix-up ya fi lick unu up inna unu nastinisses. Yeah man, hear ya now: a deacon inna a church did bun him wife, an a do di tings dem wid a nex church memba - who was di sista a di pawsta.

Di deacon an di church treasurer a good fren, an di treasurer pinch him an tell him how di pawsta a tief up nuff a di church money. Di deacon draw out di treasurer an get all a di details bout di whole heap a money weh di pawsta did a tief. Wen di deacon learn everyting him neva say nuttin to di pawsta, him jus gwaan shell dung di pawsta sista an govan him ting neatly.

him married

Anyways, tory come to bump wen di pawsta sista tell di deacon say him breed har! Di deacon get bummy an tell har say she fi memba say being dat him married an dat him a deacon an well respected inna di community, him a ask har fi she do away wid di pregnancy. But she flat out tell him no! She mek di deacon know seh she WILL be having his child. No turning back! Di deacon beg har, an beg har, an beg har, but she say no, she still a have di child.

A soh now di deacon step to di pawsta an explain him situation an beg di pawsta fi use him influence an convince him sista fi goh get di abortion. Di deacon shock wen him hear di pawsta staat done him right away! Di pawsta class him up wicked, an tell him how him corrupt an awful! Di pawsta say he is totally against abortion, and has always preached against abortion to his congregation, and dat he was very offended dat di deacon woulda brite enuff fi come ask him fi suggest such an ungodly act to him sista.

abortion

Wen di deacon see how di pawsta a gwaan holyer-than-thou him get bex an staat pree di pawsta as a dutty hypocrite. Soh di deacon jus bring up di pawsta file an staat reel out like bobbin. Him mek di pawsta know seh him know bout all a di money weh di pawsta tief. An den tell di pawsta say him betta get him sista fi tek di abortion or else him a goh buss out bout di tiefing money. Di pawsta mussi did shock an bex at di same time, but nonetheless him move to him sista wid di mission.

Nobady nuh know wat was said between di pawsta an him sista, but di pawsta fahwud an tell di deacon say him sista say she would go ahead wid di abortion fi har bredda sake, but dat dem woulda haffi pay fi it an dat dem woulda haffi gi har A WHOLE HEAP A MONEY FI HAR SELF! Di deacon was soh glad dat him coulda get outa him pickle dat him agree immediately, but him neva have nuttin near di amount a money weh di sista did want. Soh di deacon tell di pawsta fi tek di funds outa di church money. Di pawsta say him cyaan dweet, but di deacon mek him know him nuh have any choice. A soh inna di end di pawsta sista tek di abortion an get a ton load a money outa di church kitty.

But di mix-up nuh done deh soh. Yuh nuh know seh bout six months layta, di deacon find out seh a neva him alone di pawsta sista did a gi har juju! Not only she did a dash out har saal to two oda church man - but she did also tell each a dem say a dem did breed har!! Yeah!!...di gyal did a run a helleva con pon di tree man dem inna Massa God good-good church!!

back-up

Wen di deacon confirm di ginalship him run goh tell di pawsta - den di two a dem move to di pawsta sista fi racks har up. But di pawsta sista jus put dem inna dem place an tell dem say a waste dem waste dem time come a bada har, cause all she haffi do a open har mout an dem life done! A soh dem did haffi jus back off an lowe har. Afta dat, di sista deliberately goh tun big fren wid di deacon wife an di deacon couldn't do a damn ting bout it. An, of course di deacon wife nuh have no idea bout all a di excitement weh did a trow dung.

Lawd Jeezas! People! Wen mi hear di mix-up it wear me out. Jus di thought dat all dem ya sitin ya can a gwaan inna di what is supposed to be the House of God ... crazy fi real!

Anyways, mi haffi leggo di ends ya now. Bless up unu self an big up all Ragashanti Live listeners, 1 to 4 pm EST (12 to 3 Jamaica time), pon Tambourine Radio at tambourineradio.com. An sen me unu mixup dem at ragashanti@mixupyaad.com.

Bless!

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