Dear Pastor,

I just want to congratulate you and your staff for all the wonderful work you have been doing throughout the past many years of your radio programme and your column in the Star. I am a frequent reader of your column. For many years I always wanted to write to you.

I am a 21-year-old young man and I have been facing some serious problems. I have been in a relationship with a young lady, who is 19 years old, for over nine months now. She is quite experienced as I am. I am employed but she is not and I would like her to get a job soon. The thing is that I really love her and she loves me too. We are planning on getting married and we are both Christians.

The problem is that I keep thinking about her past that she has told me about, which was not so normal.

Sometimes it stresses both of us and it hurts a lot. I am asking for your fatherly advice on what to do in order to keep the relationship going.

T.B

Dear T.B.,

You have not told me what in this woman's past that is bothering you. What is so bad about her past? If you love this woman, you should put her past behind you. She cannot correct her past. Nothing she can do would wipe her past away. However, you can help her to overcome her past by not reminding her of it.

The question is, do you love this woman? If you love her, then you ought to remember that genuine love covers all wrong. And you would not allow her past to destroy the beautiful relationship both of you are having.

This woman didn't have to tell you about her past. Perhaps she told you because she trusts you and wants you to give her moral support in dealing with them. Perhaps both of you should make an appointment to see a family counsellor.

Pastor