Dear Pastor,

I am a 44-year-old man and I am with a woman who is five years older than I am. She has seven children but none for me. I had children before I met her. I met her when she had four children and we became friends. After that, she had three more children. When I met her and we started to have sex, she told me that she doesn't believe in using the condom; and as a Revivalist, she believes in having out her lot. When she got pregnant the sixth time, I was away. She told me that because I was away she had to go to another man because she has 'nature' and financial needs. I told her that I have nature, too. I love this woman. She said that if I would marry her, no one would ever get to have sex with her again.

This woman believes in obeah. People told me that she obeahed me and that I would never be able to leave her because she tied me to her. I believe something is wrong because she is still very friendly with three of the men she had children with. One of them comes to the home and gives her money. I told her to tell him not to come back, and for him to put the money into her account. She told me I can't stop the man because the house we are living in is not ours. The house belongs to her mother.

Now, I believe it is really true that she tied me to her. Many times I have tried to leave her but I go right back. From the first week I slept at her house, she took away one of my under- pants and a pair of socks and I haven't seen them again. And every time I ask her for them, she tells me that I have more than enough to wear.

Another thing, a lady bought me some cologne and after using it for a few times, it disappeared. And when I saw it again and used it, it carried a very bad smell, so I had to throw it away. I know she tampered with it. This woman bought a ring and is planning our wedding and I have not told her I would marry her. Please tell me what to do.

D.C.

Dear D.C.,

You can put this matter to the test. You can try to 'untie' the so-called tie. You should rent a place on your own without her knowledge. Move all your belongings when she is not at the house. Start cooking your own meals at the new place or eat out and just go to your new place to sleep. It won't be long before she finds out, but when she turns up do not let her in. If she tries to disturb you or the neighbourhood, call the police. If you can't stay away from this woman for a week or two without calling her or going back to her, then I would say that you are either a fool or she has really tied you for true, whatever that is.

You see, sir, I know women have put foreign matter into their men's food and they say that is to tie them. Some women have confessed to me that they have done some nasty things to men to tie them. Things I suspect that have caused these men to become ill. Yes, some women who are desperate will do desperate things.

Now, what did she do with your underpants and your socks? I doubt she is wearing your underpants. Perhaps she might be. Nahhh! What about the socks? Some women like to wear socks when the night is cold. But, seriously, this is not a woman with whom you should spend your life. But, you love her and whatever she gives to you, you keep going back for more. Who can blame her for demanding that you marry her? She considers you a good catch. But, brother, be wise and try and get away from her, because if she is convinced that you are going to leave her, she may kill you.

Pastor