When it comes to sex, many persons say they love it, want to have a lot of it, and that their lives would be empty without it. But what about when it gets to a point where it is taking over your life? Is it possible to be addicted to sex? Believe it or not, there are millions of people suffering from a condition called hypersexuality or sexual addiction. For these people, sex is not for pleasure. It is more a tool of escape from underlying problems that they might be experiencing.

When you speak to sexual addicts, they don't speak of the quality of sex, but more about the number of times they have it and the loneliness that they feel immediately afterwards.

Sexual addiction is difficult to diagnose because sexuality is constantly evolving, and experts are still struggling to define what 'healthy' sexual behaviour is.

Sexual addicts have compulsive urges to have sex at very inconvenient times, even taking big risks to satisfy the urges. They spend hours watching porn, masturbating, and still having sex afterwards, being in a constant state of moodiness, irritability, urgency, and boredom.

So do you have a sexual addiction? Here's a checklist that you can use to help you figure it out:

1. Do you meet complete strangers online and get together just to have sex?

2. Do you wake up in a stranger's bed more than once per week?

3. Have you ever had more than one sexual partner in a day?

4. Do you skip work, school, or an important appointment to have sex?

5. If you were to make a list of all your sexual partners, would it pass 100?

6. When you think of sex, do you get agitated or have difficulty concentrating?

7. Do you get upset or annoyed if you don't get to satisfy the urge to have sex?

8. Do you masturbate at least twice daily?

9. Have you ever had unprotected sex with someone you just met?

10. Do you usually feel a sense of shame after each sexual encounter?

If you answer yes to at least six of the questions, you may have a problem. The important thing to remember is that sexual addiction is treatable as with every other addiction, intensive therapy, and education. As far as I know, there aren't any treatment centres here in Jamaica for sexual addiction, but you can visit the Family Life Ministries as a start.

As for people who just have a high libido, sex can be fun, very intimate, and fulfilling with the right person. Celebrate your sexual desires with your partner and enjoy the bond you share. If you speak to someone who is concerned that they might have an addiction, keep an open mind and listen to his concerns. Opening up about something like sexual addiction is very difficult for anyone, and that is one of the reasons why many people with this problem suffer in silence. There is a lot of shame that comes with sexual addiction, so try not to judge, and be supportive.

Stay sexy!

Send your questions or comments to sexychatwithshelly@gmail.com or Tweet me @drsexylive or www.facebook.com/ShellyAnnDrSexyWeeks. Tune in to Shelly-Ann Dr. Sexy Weeks on Dr Sexy LIVE on Nationwide 90FM Mondays-Fridays starting at 10 p.m.

Question

Dear Dr Sexy,

I have a small penis (four inches), and I am scared when I meet someone new because I know women want a man with a big penis (at least eight inches). Will I ever find someone who likes me with my small penis? Or do I have to start using some kind of pill to make my penis bigger? Please help.

Marc, Yallas

Dear Marc,

Bigger is not always better, and there are a lot of women who do not want a man with eight inches. That size is difficult to work with, especially if she wants to be able to move and really enjoy the ride. Here's some information that might surprise you: the average size of an erection is four to six inches, so you are right in there. Plus, if you are attentive, good at foreplay, and willing to please her, she will really enjoy having sex with you with your four inches.

Sex is not just about the size of your organ.

Good luck!

Dr Sexy