Dear Pastor,

How are you doing? I am a regular reader of your column. I am 20 years old and I have been living with my boyfriend for over five years. He put me through school and pays all my bills. I now have my subjects. He is a wonderful man. When I met him I was 15 years and some months old and he was 55. Now he is 61 years old. I love him dearly.

But my problem is that he has stopped making love to me. We sleep together every night, but we don't have sex. Whenever I ask him for sex, he would ignore me and stuff like that, so I have stopped asking him. I met someone else and he is in his 30s. I told him about my boyfriend and he encourages me not to hurt him because he has done well for me. I won't hurt my boyfriend for any man although we are not having sex.

Sometimes my boyfriend doesn't come home. And whenever he doesn't come home, I can't sleep. I will just sit up the entire night and I can't go back to bed. If I do call him, he wouldn't respond to my calls and then he came home early in the morning looking like someone who just woke up. I don't ask him where he is coming from because I know I won't get the answer to the question I ask. He would just say, "it's house."

My new boyfriend is very nice, amazing and he is a guy who knows what he wants out of life and he encourages me. I love him and there is not a day that I can go without talking to him. He feels the same way about me. Whenever I am around him, I am the happiest girl on this earth. I just feel comfortable.

I need your help, Pastor. Please keep me in your prayers.

M.K.

Dear M.K.,

Your new boyfriend has taken over. You may think that the man with whom you are living does not suspect that you have another guy. I believe that he knows. And one of these days he is going to ask you about it or tell you to go. He is not going to allow you to stay in his house and have another man.

You also know that he might be sleeping at another woman's house. He comes home looking well rested. Surely he is not sleeping in the park on benches.

I believe that this man loves you but you have become too hot to handle. And both of you need to talk about your relationship and decide what should be done. After you have had such a talk, please write me again.

Pastor