Dear Pastor,

I hope you are keeping fine. I am having a problem that has been bothering me for about five years. I live in the country, but my girlfriend left and went to Kingston to go to school. We have been friends since high school days. She is very bright. I passed three subjects when she passed eight. One of her sisters works in the bank and is married. She went to Kingston and was staying with her. Sometimes she comes down for the weekend, but most times, she is in Kingston. If I go to see her, I can't stay over because she is sharing a room with her sister's two children, so it is not convenient for me to stay there.

She got pregnant and I thought the child was mine because she told me so, but the child does not look like me. He looks like her sister's husband. My mother told me that the child is a 'jacket'. I didn't speak to my mother for days because I love the child. I didn't say anything to my girlfriend until long after she went back to Kingston.

Pastor, I am of a light complexion and my girlfriend is of a light complexion, too, but her brother-in-law is slightly dark and the child has his complexion. When I told my girlfriend that I doubted that the child was mine, she told me that if I didn't want to support him, I didn't have to.

I have been supporting the child, but my mother and brother told me I am a fool. Now, I am asking her to get a DNA test done and she is refusing. I told her that I would tell her sister, but I am only saying so. I would never cause her sister and her husband to break up.

Pastor, keep up the good work and please give me your advice.

D.E.

Dear D.E.,

I don't believe that your mother wanted to make trouble when she questioned whether you are the biological father of that little boy. She had no reason to dislike your girlfriend, but when she saw the child, there was nothing on that child that would indicate that you are his father. And the reaction of the child's mother confirms the doubts that aroused suspicion in the mind of your mother.

When a woman gets pregnant and she knows that she has only been with one man, and the man who impregnates her is doubtful that he is the father of the child she is carrying and requests that a paternity test be done, the mother does not object. In your case, the mother is not cooperating, so that has indeed raised doubts in your mind.

You might be supporting a 'jacket.' I am not telling you that you should stop if you can afford to do so, but you ought to know the truth. So insist on the DNA, and I wish you well.

Pastor