Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column for years now and you are doing a great job. That is your gift from God. I am desperately in need of your fatherly advice.

I am 21 years old and I met a 28-year-old married man. We have been dating for eight months and things seem to be going on great between us.

The problem I am having is that I have a boyfriend and he has his wife and a child. My boyfriend hurts me a lot. We had a year of happiness together and four years of stress. I stayed with him because he is the one who took my virginity and because he was also my first boyfriend. I am tired of giving him second chances.

He won't leave me alone.

Now I met another guy and things are going great. He told me that he is starting to fall for me. Even the first time we had sex, he said it seems like we have been together for many years. And now he said he is starting to love me more than his wife.

Pastor, to tell you the truth, I don't want to break up anything between this man and his wife. What should I do? Please give me your fatherly advice.

- Confused

Dear Confused,

The man who told you that he is getting to love you more than his wife might not be speaking the truth. When men want women to remain with them they tell them the things that they know women like to hear. So this man might be lying. And one of these days when he wants to dump you or end the relationship with you, he is going to come to you and tell you that the relationship between his wife and himself has improved, so he cannot continue to see you.

The other guy who has hurt you so much is also married. So I suggest that you end the relationship with both of them and try to find a single man. However, you should not be in a hurry to start a relationship with any guy. You need some time to clear your mind because you have made serious blunders in your life and you should not repeat the same mistakes.

Pastor