Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you. I have been faced with some challenges. I have just finished university and am unable to get a job. I know I am not alone in that regard because everything seems to be going bad now.

One of the many things is that my relationships just never seem to work out. Sometimes I believe I am giving too much. I am a young lady who believes that a girl can take a man for dinner and pay. I am a very understanding person. I have been praying that I will get in a relationship soon with someone that both of us understand each other. I have a list and a mental picture for the guy I want, but I can't find him. I'm 26. Thank you in advance and keep up the good work.

University Graduate

Dear University Graduate,

As you rightly said, you are not alone in the struggle in seeking for a job. Jobs are hard to find, even for those who are qualified. But I am sure that you are not prepared to give up. No, you don't seem to be that type of person. Therefore, remain positive and keep knocking until you get the type of job that you want. And by the way, if there is an opening anywhere and it is not the type of job that you are looking for, take it and give it your best shot until you get what you want.

second best

Concerning relationships, as a young woman you shouldn't be willing to take second best or to lower your standards just to know that you have a man. It is always good to have criteria. But as you grow older, you may come to realise that you might have to just adjust a little here and there. You have got a little education (I assume a first degree), you probably would want to pursue graduate studies. Therefore, the man that you are hoping to have should be one who would see the need for a woman to have a good education and not one who would just be a housewife and have children.

You are a good woman. You are not afraid to take a man out and pay for his dinner. However, don't give the men the impression that they ought never to pay. And try your very best not to be too pushy or bossy. Don't spend a lot of money on men. If you do, you will spoil them and they will always ask for more. Don't worry, a good man will come your way. Take your time and keep your standards high.

Pastor