I have a situation and I need your help. I have been with my boyfriend for three years but I cheated on him with someone he knows very well. I thought he had forgiven me and I thought our relationship was going well again until I found out that he cheated on me and has got a girl pregnant.

I really love this guy but his babymother is creating a problem in our lives.

I am still heartbroken and I need some advice.

A

Dear A,

Both of you are immature and not ready for a serious relationship.

You cheated on your boyfriend with a man he knows well and he cheated on you in return. He told you that he had forgiven you, but he did not promise you that he would not cheat.

The truth is, this relationship is based on sex and it does not mean much to your boyfriend. When you had sex with someone he knew very well, you gave him the impression that you did not care. And whether your boyfriend wants to admit it or not, the facts remain that it is unlikely that he will ever trust you and marry you because he believes that you have embarrassed him by going with a man that he knows well. He expects you to keep quiet and to accept what he did as bun-fi-bun.

You said that the child's mother is giving you a hard time. That is nonsense. You believe that because this guy and you were going together before this young lady came into the picture, she should keep quiet. But, my dear, she can't keep quiet because she now has a child by him so they will always have to be in touch with each other in the interest of the child. You are not married to him, so she would not have to come through you to talk to him.

It is not going to be easy for you to know what this man intends to do in the future.

I urge you, therefore, to carve out your own future without him and don't be surprised if he eventually chooses his babymother over you.

Pastor