Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column and I find it very interesting. My husband and I are Christians, but my husband does not get along very well with the people at our church. He does not socialise and he is a very proud man.

I grew up in my church and my husband comes from another church. Before we got married, I told him that I would not want to leave my church because it was started by my uncle and all of us have ties to the church. He started to attend and he told me he liked it, so we got married and he became a member.

The people in the church love and respect him but he is very critical of them. Whenever we have church functions, he doesn't attend. He has a very good government job and all he talks about is his job and his big friends. But his friends criticise him behind his back. They say he is too proud and 'boasy'.

attitude

Whenever I talk to him about his attitude, he tells me that he is not pleasing anybody but himself. I would like my husband to socialise more. Some people ask me how I could live with such a selfish man.

GS

Dear GS,

I hope your husband would change his attitude. The very breath he breathes is a gift from God. He has done well, but he could not have succeeded in anything without the help of others. His parents helped him and his teachers helped him from the time he was a child and all the way through university. So, whatever he is today, he did not do it alone.

The Bible says that everybody should love one another in the church. The Apostle James says we ought not to put the rich above the poor or give special recognition to anyone because of the position he holds in society.

If your husband is proud and haughty, he could never serve in the church as a pastor, elder or deacon. Through his pride, he would have disqualified himself from holding any office in the church.

Pastor