Dear Pastor,

I read your column and you give excellent advice. I pray that you will have time to read my letter. I am 19 years old and I am attending university now.

When I was in high school, my parents moved to another parish. They sent me to a private institution where I met this girl who became my friend. She would always tell me about a guy she had a crush on, but she said he did not like her intimately, he just wanted to be her friend. I did not know this guy until one day in class I caught him staring at me then he just smiled and asked me if I could write for him and I said no angrily. He just kept on smiling and looking at me. We became friends and, after class, my girlfriend told me that he was the guy she talked about and liked. I was surprised. She asked what the guy was saying to me in class.

The three of us became good friends and we went to the park, movies, concerts etc. Every time the three of us would go out, the guy would always play with me or lift me up, and my girlfriend would get upset.

The guy called me one night and told me that he wanted to be in a relationship with me and he would wait until I am ready for sex. He said that he told my girlfriend that he liked me and he told her not to tell me. I was upset that my girlfriend would hide that from me. I asked her and she said yes he told her. I really wanted to tell him yes, but I said no because I didn't want to hurt my girlfriend's feelings. I told him that she really liked him, but he said he wanted me, not her.

I really wanted to be with him, but I just couldn't hurt her feelings. He is a nice guy. He doesn't talk much. He is kind, caring and he is a Christian. He blushes when I smile and he said I make his knees weak anytime he is around me. I am a virgin and he does not talk about sex with me. We talk for long hours on the phone about our future and names that we would give our kids, etc.

After a few months, I found a boyfriend. And whenever we would get into an argument, the first guy would always try to cheer me up. We both still have feelings for each other and I recently told my girlfriend about it and she said she is over him and doesn't have a problem if we get together. But now it is too late because he found somebody else. I am now single and this guy still has his girlfriend. He says he still likes me, but he doesn't want to hurt his girlfriend, although he doesn't love her. He loves me a lot. We went to the movies and we almost kissed. I told him that we can't go out together again and that he should call me less, but he doesn't listen to me.

Pastor, what should I do? We really like each other, but I don't want him to leave his girlfriend for me. Should I cut off all communication with him and move on? I would also like to know if two people love each other, should they be separated in another relationship even though he/she doesn't love the person he/she is in the relationship with? Shouldn't those two people be together? Please reply.

A.C.

Dear A.C.,

This guy is fooling you. He has gotten another girlfriend and he is telling you that he doesn't love her, but he loves you. He is talking rubbish. He is hoping that one day he will be able to take you to bed. Don't trust him. End the friendship with him. He is only messing up your mind.

Pastor