Dear Pastor,

Thanks for the advice you have given me. I really appreciate it, but talking to my father will only make matters worse. I am not judging anyone because I am not in a position to judge anyone. However, my father calls himself a man of God, yet he encourages what my husband is doing to me. I cannot talk to either of my parents about my marital problems because whatever my husband does, is well done. He is never wrong in the eyes of my parents.

I can live without my husband but I would not want my son to be raised by a single parent. However, I have regrets about my marriage, but I never once regretted having my baby. He is a blessing from God and I appreciate and love him dearly.

Before my husband and I got married, things were much better. My husband would help me around the house, cook, and do the laundry. He later transformed into a monster. Even during the pregnancy he was the best husband until we got married.

My husband's family is from India, and my husband is half Indian. He was born in India but grew up in Jamaica. I will try with my husband and see if he can change and go back to being the man he once was because I love him and I do not want our relationship to end in such a manner. As for my male friend, I will do as you said, pastor. And thanks once more for the advice, pastor. May God continue to bless you and your family.

J. S.

Dear J.S.,

I believe you mean well but I must tell you that your husband is not going to change just because you ask him to return to the days when he showed you much love and tenderness. You cannot handle the problems on your own. You need professional advice. As I see it, you need to get out of your husband's way, get out of his parents' home. Stand up for your rights.

This is Jamaica and there are people in this country who would be willing to help you. There are many women who are living alone. Their husbands are dead, their children are living abroad and some of them are divorced and they have rooms in their homes. They are not renting these rooms to anybody because they do not wish to have tenants but they will gladly help a person like you who has been abused and whose dignity has been trampled upon.

So, it is up to you to either stay with an abusive and wicked husband and in laws who are clearly racists according to what you said in your first letter to me. I give you my word, I will be praying for you.

Pastor