I am 19 and living with my father, but he does not want me to study. Whenever I am studying he turns on the radio and turns up the volume or turns up the television. He always complains about me not finishing high school successfully and always tells people how disappointed he is at being my father. He compares me to his friends' children and says that I am no good.

I am currently doing seven CSEC subjects and I am trying to accomplish my goals in life, but my father is trying to hinder me. If I am studying he finds all manner of work to give me to do and if I refuse to do them and tell him that I am studying, he wants to abuse me. What should I do?

Disappointed

Dear Disappointed,

In the first place, I do not believe that you father is wilfully trying to prevent you from studying. Perhaps he sees you as a failure. You are nineteen years old and he believes that you could have done better academically. I do not have any doubt that he is tough on you these days, but that is his way of telling you that he wants you to be successful and not waste your time. Your father knows you much more than you think. He knows that at nineteen years old, you are trying to catch up when you should have been way ahead and perhaps in college or university.

The best way to get along with your father is not to argue with him toe-to-toe or to be disrespectful to him. You should obey him. Do what he wants you to do and then take time to study. If the home is not quiet enough, go to the library. Or ask your pastor to allow you to use the church hall. Or, if you are in Kingston, go to Devon House, Hope Gardens or find a quiet place and do your school work.

I wish you the very best. You will not fail if you work hard.

Pastor