Dear Pastor,

I read your column every day and have learnt a lot. I am writing for your advice. I have been with this man for two years. He is my babyfather and recently proposed to me. I accepted. Pastor, I am 20 and he is 46. He lied to me about his age and told me he was in his early 30s. He told me he only had one child when he actually had two children, and one is four years older than I am.

When I told him I wanted to meet his parents, he told me they were in New York. When I finally got to meet his eldest daughter, I asked of her grandparents and she said they were in the country.

One day his youngest child said to me, "Did you know that dad is married to my mother?" I was so shocked. They have been separated for 10 years but not divorced.

One day I asked him if they were married and he asked me where I got that from, so I told him to answer my question. He said, yes he was, but is divorced, which he is not, to this day.

His wife is working on the divorce because the papers came to the house. He doesn't want me to have any male friends. When my phone rings, he wants to know who is on the line. One day I did something I was not supposed to. I went into his phone and read his texts. I didn't like what I saw. I know it was wrong what I did. I want to know what I should do. I think this relationship is based on a lie, but I really love him. He takes care of me and makes me happy most of the time.

M.A.

Dear M.A.,

I have news for you, if you continue with this man, you will get many more surprises. He is a liar and is dishonest. So it is up to you to leave or stay. You cannot say you don't know enough about him to make intelligent decisions.

Pastor