Dear Pastor,

I read your columns every day and never expected I would be writing to you. I am a 20-year-old girl who is confused. I am having two relationships with two different guys. None of them knows they are sharing me.

It is like this, the first guy and I have been talking for two years and he takes care of me, financially, by sending me to school, buying me food, taking care of my health etc. I love him so much because of that.

When the second guy came into my life, which was a year ago, the love went down for the first guy.

The second guy is 31. I don't ask him for anything and he's the one always saying I should ask sometimes, yet I don't. I developed a very strange feeling for him and it's not based on material things or money. I found out that I loved him much more than the first guy.

I don't know if it's because the first guy lives in May Pen and the second one lives 10 minutes from me.

I don't enjoy having sex with the first guy but I just pretend that I do when it is that time. I don't know if it's the sex that draws me so close to the second one for me to love him so much. I don't know what to do. I really love the second one but I don't want to let go off the first one because he has done so much for me. Can you please give me some advice?

C.M.

Dear C.M.,

It is only a matter of time before the first guy comes to realise that you are making a fool of him. You have used him. You are a great pretender and a deceiver.

You are playing a dangerous game. You are with the guy because of his money. He has helped you all the way financially. He has supported you well. If you didn't love him, you should have said so but you have pretended that all is well.

What you are doing have caused men to hurt girls physically. I am not saying men should ever hit women. All I am saying is that I hear it from men every day.

I am saying to you it is better for a girl to end the relationship with a man before she becomes sexually involved with another, because men don't like to think they have been used by women and, as the saying goes, "they can't take bun", especially when the women give the impression that all is well between them.

Your problem is greed. You are young and believe you can trick men. Stop, you are going the wrong way. If you don't like your first boyfriend, tell him it is over. Remember the only thing that's going for you between the second boyfriend and yourself, is sex.

No good relationship is based on sex only. So you, are in trouble on both sides. The sex with this guy is not going to last forever. Find a counsellor and discuss the matter with him/her, but please do not put yourself in danger by having two men in your life at the same time.

Pastor