I recently watched an episode of 'Law and Order Special Victims Unit' where they discovered a group of men who were married to women but every month they met and, let's just say, had 'sexy fun' with each other.

For the entire episode, all these men refused to identify themselves as being gay, because they all said they loved their wives and wouldn't ever destroy their marriage for any of their 'fun buddies'. I was intrigued and it got me thinking. There are many individuals who struggle with attraction that they feel, and instead of embracing it, they do everything to suppress, deny or even ignore these feelings. How effective is that?

'down-low'

Yes, I know there are some who will say that a bisexual male does not exist, that he's really just gay and that's that. But if we look at what bisexual means, he is sexually interested in both males and females. So we cannot discount his interest in women just because he is also into men.

I also know that in Jamaica, we have a reputation of being homophobic so this is not a topic that many are interested in addressing. But facts are facts and the fact, is, there are men who are in relationships with women with a secret locked tightly in a closet of denial. Also known as being on the 'down-low', these men lead mostly a heterosexual lifestyle and only indulge with same-sex relations on a periodic basis.

Keeping their secret is a major part of their existence and this fact can eventually contribute to mental health issues. They live with the constant threat of shame if the secret is revealed. Personally, the challenge that I have with this group is the deception. By keeping a part of them hidden, they are making choices for their women, and that is not fair.

So, ladies, let me ask you this: What difference will it make in your relationship, if any, should you find out that the man you love, had a past relationship with another man? Would anything change?

The more we learn about sexuality, the more we are able to make better choices about how we can make the best of it. Our sexuality affects us on many levels, and it is important to know who you are sexually.

Send your questions or comments to sexychatwithshelly@gmail.com or tweet me @drsexylive or Facebook www.facebook.com/ShellyAnn Dr SexyWeeks. Tune in to Shelly-Ann 'Dr Sexy Weeks' on Dr Sexy LIVE on Nationwide 90FM Mon-Fri starting at 10 p.m.

Question

Dear Shelly,

I walked in after work on my wife playing with herself, even though we had sex before I left for work. Should I worry about that? Am I not enough?

Paul, Red Hills

Dear Paul,

It is a great thing that your wife enjoys her sexuality enough to masturbate. This is a great opportunity for you to learn some things about her. Pay attention to how she touches herself, make mental notes so when you are together again, you can just mimic her actions.

Masturbation increases her libido as well, so she will be ready for you again soon.

Stay sexy, Shelly

National Masturbation Day

The first National Masturbation Day was observed in 1995 in the US to protect the right to masturbate. May 28 is National Mastur-bation Day and as most of you know, I am a huge advocate for more masturbation, or self-loving, as I like to call it. There are many individuals, mostly women, who say that they don't 'need' to masturbate because it is negative in some way. I am a believer in choice, so if you don't want to love yourself, don't. For the rest of us who enjoy the sweet, sweet joy that is masturbation, we get the great benefits, which include: improved immunity, reduced stress levels, defence against cancer, and we are more fun to be around because most persons orgasm from masturbation. So love yourself and have a HAPPY MASTURBATION DAY!