Dear Readers,

Keisha is a depressed 29-year-old who just can't come to terms with her husband's behaviour. Her husband is 35 and they've been married nearly eight years, but things are not the same. Things seemed to be very good and they spent a lot of time together before her spouse started staying out during the week for a drink with his friends.

That was only the start as he later had a relationship with a woman at his office. He actually felt bad about it and told her about it after he broke off (or else she might never have known).

She eventually forgave him for this, but more recently he has had sex with a young college student related to one of his friends. Keisha also found out that he has been meeting one of her girlfriends.

Keisha is devastated. She said he is so stupid as she always finds out his activities from the numbers in his cell phone! She confronted him and almost broke up everything her hands could reach in the house (which belonged to him) and, eventually, he admitted he was seeing her friend.

He started crying and said he thinks he has developed "sex addiction". He is asking Keisha not to leave him.

They have a two-year-old child but Keisha said she doesn't know if she can live with this. She is worried about sexually transmitted diseases as well as the embarrassment, yet she felt a bit sorry for him when he broke down and really cried.

He has agreed to see a counsellor. Keisha said everything has changed and she doesn't know if she loves him the same way anymore for he is not the same person.

She is in two minds whether to try the counsellor or just to take her daughter and leave so she can get on with her life for she just doesn't think she can take anymore hurt and doesn't know if she can ever trust him again.

She asked Lifeline whether sexual addiction is a real disorder. If so, can it be treated?

Keisha has a lot on her plate and has been forced to put aside youthful dreams and mature very fast. Keisha, your husband is confused, mixed up and has problems which need a counsellor.

You have already committed eight years of your life to him and have a child with him. He is not attempting to lie to you and shows that he doesn't want to lose his connection with you and your child.

A lot of men do lie, repeatedly, about this type of behaviour, and deny their involvement in such activities, even in the face of incontrovertible proof!

impossible to fix

Also, many deny that they have any problem at all. If you can't see where a problem exists, it is impossible to fix it! Your husband admits to having a problem and has suggested seeing a counsellor. He may, in fact, have many problems which need sorting out.

In the face of all the upsetting things which have happened, you could still give the relationship a final try at a chance to resolve problems, grow and provide a stable home, with both parents, for your daughter!

Later on, if you part, when your daughter asks why you and her father are not together, you should be able to tell her you both tried your best to be that family for her!

Sexual addiction or "sex addict" refers to a person who has a high sex drive and is obsessed with sex. A high sex drive. by itself, is not a problem as long as the person is able to moderate their needs within a suitable relationship.

Sleeping around with multiple partners to engage in more sex is just not acceptable! Studies also show that sex addicts do not form a close relationship with their multiple partners and are not receiving any emotional relief or emotional support from their multiple partners.

They do, in fact, have underlying deep, emotional problems which need to come out and be resolved. In fact, the possibility of a positive resolution to the problem is greater once the problem is revealed, and many individuals with this problem have admitted to counsellors that they feel relief when they are actually found out.

As with any addiction, healing is a process which can be rocky and even involve some backsliding. It can be hard to keep a family intact through the process.

Support groups, similar to Alcoholics Anonymous are very important to help intervene and prevent backsliding. In some instances, anti-depressant medications such as Prozac and Anafranil, which are also used to treat Obsessive Compulsive behaviour, can help an afflicted person to modify their behaviour.

Keisha, you should also have a full medical check-up with your family doctor, discuss the problem and get some guidance as to where to seek help.

Keisha, whatever you choose to do, Lifeline wishes both yourself and your husband God's blessings as you resolve your future, be that together or apart.

Write to: Lifeline, PO Box 1731, KGN 8