Dear Pastor,

I was talking to a guy right after high school. The following year, I went away in July for a holiday and he went away in August, but not for a holiday, but to go to school in the States. I waited on him for two years. We talked every day and I cried until one day I decided that it was enough and I broke off the relationship with him. I am still very much head over heels in love with him, though.

Here is where the confusion starts. Although we talked every day, I met someone else. A year ago we had a child together. I told my ex about my baby. He was mad, which he had every right to be. We still communicated after all this was said.

Now he is back in Jamaica after six long years for a vacation. We linked up, knowing how crazy I am about him. Of course, we slept together. This is the first time I have ever cheated on my babyfather, but honestly, I didn't feel guilty at all.

Pastor, I am so very in love with my ex. My babyfather irritates the last drop of blood in my body (he has for the last year). The main problem I have with him is, we barely talk. I can count the few times we have had sex. He doesn't support me financially or emotionally. We don't cuddle like a couple. We live like roommates. Being with him is so depressing. I want to break up with him and be with my ex. I know in my heart I will never love someone else the way I love him.

But what is going to happen with my baby? His dad is not going to give him up without a fight and after nine months and all that labour, neither will I. My ex is in the Marines in the States. He wants me to come up so we can get married and continue our lives together.

What should I do? I want to go so badly, but what about the baby? What will become of his dad (not that I care much)? Wouldn't that make me look ungrateful to him and his family after all their help? But do I stay with someone I'm not happy with? Please advise.

Confused T.

Dear Confused T.,

Now that you have become sexually and emotionally involved with your ex-boyfriend again, your child's father seems like trash to you. He is everything bad. And apart from your unfaithfulness, which you are willing to admit, you are giving the impression that you are all good and this man is all bad.

You know that this relationship is not going to work. Concerning your child, the matter of custody can be settled in court.

Pastor