Dear Pastor,

Your words of encouragement are truly a blessing to my life. I love you, pastor, and I pray for your health and strength.

When I read a letter in your column dated May 10, 2013, with the caption, "I had sex with seven men by age 16," my eyes were filled with tears. Those words reminded me of me.

I am 20 and have been baptised since I was a baby and I grew up in the church. My friends would describe me as a "boring church girl," although those words did not matter to me because I had so much faith and I believed and loved the Lord so much that I tried to keep His commandments.

At 15, I met a guy at a church camp one summer. Whenever I saw this guy, I would feel nervous, my heart would skip a beat, and I could not eat. Whenever my friends called his name, I would blush. I sensed a feeling of love. This guy was three years older than I was and we shared the same faith.

After meeting with him, we exchanged contact details and we met at several church meetings.

My first time alone with this guy was the following summer when he invited me to his house. I really wanted to see him, so I lied to my parents and went to visit him. At the time I was a virgin. He had sex with me. I was so naïve because I knew it was wrong. It bothered me so much that I could not tell anyone. I felt so much pain, and what made it even worse, the guy didn't call me again until one month later.

The entire youth group heard about what had happened. It was posted on facebook by this guy and his friends. I was a big joke to them all. I found myself in a situation where older guys from the church called me to "counsel" me and then had sex with me.

Pastor, I totally lost it all as I did not know how to cope. I found myself sleeping with a total of 17 guys. I knew this was not really me. I eventually sought counselling and I saw a psychiatrist. It was much more than just counselling. I was on medication for some time, and that is when my parents found out all was not well with me.

I did well in high school. I graduated with seven CXC subjects. I did two professional certificate courses and I did well in those, too. I am now working at a well- known company and I have applied to the university to do a degree in education. I now struggle with my faith. Very often, I feel depressed and cry every night about my teenage past. It is very difficult for me as I am trying so hard to put my life in order.

I have been hurt and torn. I am never happy these days, and at times, something causes me to remember the sexual abuse and rape that I have undergone. I still do not want to tell my parents or anyone.

I have met many older men who admire me and offer me material things. I tell them I am not interested and I pray for them all. I am not in a relationship at this time. I feel miserable and broken. And it affects me so much. I really want peace of mind and to feel happy again.

I am praying for that young lady who wrote to you. I pray that she will understand before it is too late. I understand where I went wrong and I ask God to forgive me, but I am scared that I will not love again.

Keep up the good work.

Naïve Teenage Girl

Dear Naïve Teenage Girl,

I thank you so much for writing. Men have taken advantage of you and have robbed you of the joy that you should have enjoyed during your teenage years. God is not sleeping and He will deal with those who have sexually abused you and caused you to suffer.

Do not give up serving the Lord. Pray. Who knows what God will want you to do in the future. Perhaps he may use you to guide and counsel young people. Work with your counsellors. Follow their suggestions and feel free to write to me again or to call me. I stand ready to help you.

Pastor