Dear Readers,

L.S., 55, a great-grandmother, is appalled at the behaviour of her husband of 35 years. He has infected her with "all sorts "of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Her doctor says not one or two but several different infections. L.S. says the doctor has not told her which infections and she believes she has the right to know. Both her and her husband were treated with several different types of antibiotics but after resuming sexual intercourse, she was infected again. LS was treated four times last year for STIs! She has now told her husband she will never have sex with him again, not even with condoms.

Her husband was diagnosed with diabetes which she suggests could be a reason why the germs are not leaving his body and she keeps getting reinfected. L.S. has noticed that she is troubled with frequency of passing her urine and wants to know if this will affect her for the rest of her life or if she should visit the doctor for another check-up.

It is a shame that at this time in the mature days of her life, L.S. has had to cope with this type of problem. Finding out that you have been infected with an STI is always difficult and causes multiple problems in relationships, but to be treated on four occasions in one year is a real trauma! Certainly, she and her husband both need counselling.

It is possible he is experiencing a midlife crisis as he enters the sixth decade of life. Some men find this difficult and doubt their virility or want to prove themselves to be attractive, often to younger women. Your husband has obviously had sex repeatedly with one or more females who have not cared for their health or practised safe sex and has brought home to you, a person under his protection, the results of his lack of responsibility.

The diabetes may have played a part in his irresponsible behaviour for when 'sugar' is not controlled in men, it can affect both the blood supply and the nerves to the penis in an adverse fashion resulting in poor erectile function and hence many a 'panic'.

What is more important for your husband to note is that erectile dysfunction (ED) is a clear marker in the diabetic male of blood circulatory problems in other parts of his body such as his heart, brain and kidneys, which puts him at risk of a heart attack, stroke and kidney disease. He would gain more from properly investigating his health and controlling his disorder both with medications and healthy living practices. Improving his diet and exercise and showing discipline in his life will probably gain him much more positive results than his actions so far!

It is certainly responsible behaviour on L.S.'s part to discontinue sexual relations with a man who has exposed her repeatedly to STIs. It is also very important for her to discover just what STIs she has been dealing with and to make sure that she has been properly treated. She should be fully investigated for this as the infection with several STIs can be determined even after adequate treatment with medication by serological blood tests. The possibility of an HIV infection MUST be excluded with a blood test as Jamaica's laws protect the infected person before the partner.

A physician can be sued for disclosure. L.S. should find an empathetic doctor who will ensure that she is now physically fit and free from STIs or is given adequate treatment. HIV treatment is for life if it found to be present.

L.S. is misguided in her belief that diabetes could prevent adequate STI treatment in her husband. Diabetes is associated with genital yeast infections which can result in a red itchy rash to the penis and a white itchy discharge in females, which can recur, but this is NOT an STI! If STI symptoms are recurring after adequate treatment, then the husband is returning to his source of infection.

As L.S. is still experiencing some urinary symptoms, she definitely should visit a physician for a complete check-up, a urine and STI screen, treatment and counselling. She has made the correct decision to abstain from sex with her husband and should try to have him see a counsellor to determine why this is happening. He needs help and won't find it from his current source.

L.S. needs to get on with her own life. She has her church, children and grandchildren, and friends to fill her life with beautiful experiences!

Write to: Lifeline,

PO Box 1731,

KGN 8

AJM