Dear Pastor,

I am 30 and have been involved with a man for the last five years. I am pregnant by him. When I got pregnant, my boyfriend and I were excited because this is my first child and was supposed to be his first also. Now I am learning that another girl is pregnant for him, too, and her pregnancy is two months older than mine. He said it was a mistake, a kind of one-night stand, when I was in New York visiting my sister for two weeks. I asked my boyfriend why he had to do this to me. He kept saying, "It was a mistake, it was a mistake." I have never cheated on this man.

she calls every day

This other woman has two children for two different men. Every day she calls and asks him for money. One day she called his phone and I answered. I told her to leave him alone and she called back. When I answered, she told me expletives. I told my boyfriend. He asked her and she denied it. My boyfriend told me to try and get over what happened. However, when he is not at home, I think of him being with the woman. She is 35. I don't know what to do.

G.L.

Dear G.L.,

Have your baby. Don't argue and fight with your boyfriend. After you have given birth, see how he reacts to you, and the baby, and how he deals with his other babymother. Fussing and quarrelling will not help the situation. However, it is unfortunate that he was so careless, having unprotected sex with another woman.

Now you have to be concerned about which of you he will settle with. I hope he will continue to be with you, and you may forgive him if, indeed, you are convinced it was a one-night stand, and he is no longer having a sexual relationship with his babymother.

Pastor