Dear Pastor,

Greetings in Jesus' name. I am having a problem and I am asking you to help me. I was working in one of the islands to send my children to school. I did my very best. I wanted my children to love me, but right now I am very unhappy. I met a man while I was away working. We were living together. He was doing a little hustling, but he did not make a lot of money. He was mean.

He didn't have official papers to live in the country so he couldn't get a good job. I told him to try and get a job and submit his papers, but he did not even have any money to make the application. So he became my responsibility. I gave him the money to make the application.

This man was on the island long before me. I had to pay for everything, including food. People told me lots of things about him, but I only cried. I took care of this man as if I were his wife. When he got his permanent stay, people told him that he should make me feel happy by marrying me. He started to run around with lots of girls. I thought he would help me. I lived with this man for 12 years, but he always had other women. I never cheated on him. Finally, I couldn't take his treatment and I left him. He never gave me a dollar. He was very wicked to me. I am older than he is, but my age was not a problem.

When he got his papers, he changed and told all his girls that he doesn't need me because he has his papers. I am 58 and he is 48 years old.

I need to find someone who would love me. I could be a good wife but I don't see anyone I like. I don't want to talk to any dark-skinned man. My ex-boyfriend was black and I opened my mind to him. Jamaican men are so tricky and my ex was a Jamaican. I would like to get a white man. I don't want to get older and living by myself.

Initials Withheld

Dear ..,

From what you have written, I could see that you are a very hardworking woman, but this man with whom you became intimate used you. When a woman is having an intimate relationship with a man and he never has money, even though he is working, she should end the relationship with him. In every relationship, there are good days and bad days. And a man may not have money all the time, but if he is constantly complaining that he doesn't have money at all, the woman should drop him like hot bread, because getting married to him, would not suddenly cause him to have money. Of course, such a man would always depend on his woman for support.

You did your very best for this man. He used you and dumped you. But, take heart. One of these days he is going to meet his Waterloo. He is happy now and blowing his money with girls. They will eat him dry. And don't be surprised if one of these days you will get a call from him begging you to take him back. I hope you will have the courage to tell him no.

Can you imagine if you had saved all the money you gave this man? You would have been in a much better financial position. Some good gentleman may be willing to make you his wife. Anything is possible.

Pastor