Dear Pastor,

I am in my mid-twenties. I have been in a relationship for five years now. I have some doubts about my man being faithful. Because of that, we don't trust each other. He used to abuse me and I tried to break off the relationship, but I always go back to him.

These days he complains that I don't have any time for him due to work. He has been forcing me to talk to my parents about sleeping with him some nights. He has helped me a lot, and because of that, I am confused and I don't know what to do.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

S.B.

Dear S.B.,

If this man wants to sleep with you, why can't he marry you? Evidently you are still living at your parents' home. That is why he is suggesting that you ask your parents to allow him to sleep with you at your house.

You suspect that this man is having relationships with other women. You don't have any proof. You don't trust him and he doesn't trust you either. He believes that you are sleeping with other guys. On the other hand, he might be saying that because he sees that the relationship between the both of you is not tight and you are not running after him. It is very easy for a couple to accuse each other of having sex outside of the relationship when things are not going the way they wish.

This man has been abusive and no one should stay with an abusive spouse, whether it is verbal abuse or physical abuse. Of course, if you believe that the love that you have for this man is very strong and that you want it to continue. You may consider making an appointment to see a family counsellor.

I wish you well.

Pastor