Dear Pastor,

My uncle is becoming a big pest in my life. He sends me to school and everything. It is not that I am not thankful for the help but he is getting annoying. I think it is because he is the one spending the money why he believes that he can control me.

I am tired of it. I think he pays people in my community to watch me. I am not sure that he is doing that, but I don't know how he knows some of the things I do and he doesn't live in the community with me.

My boyfriend is getting mad at me almost every day because of my uncle. He is always calling and asking me where I am and what I am doing. He stays on the phone for hours and he is not saying anything to me, and it is annoying. People in the community have it to say that my uncle and I are together, and it is not a pretty picture. He is even going around asking people about my boyfriend and which school he used to attend.

What can I do to let my uncle stop being so annoying and my boyfriend/husband to believe me that my uncle and I are not in a relationship?

Unnamed

Dear ...

I am sorry that you haven't given your age. You talk about your uncle being annoying because he calls you often and engages you in long conversations, which you describe as "saying nothing". He is not telling you what you want to hear. You believe that he is wasting precious time.

Nevertheless, I have observed that you have not hinted that your uncle has at any time given you the impression that he wants to have an affair with you. Your boyfriend thinks that he does because you have told him about your uncle's behaviour, such as the long conversations on the phone, etc.

Perhaps your uncle is overbearing. Perhaps he needs to learn to trust you. But I don't consider your boyfriend to be a real man by suggesting to you that your uncle and yourself are having a sexual relationship. If you feel that your uncle should not be calling you and asking about your whereabouts, then you need to tell him so. If you know that you are not doing anything wrong, you shouldn't find it difficult to tell your uncle where you are going and where you have been. From the very tone of your letter you seem to be in your teens. Your uncle might not be living in the community where you reside but people know him and they are likely to talk to him about you, and nothing, absolutely, nothing is wrong with him wanting to find out what type of guy is showing interest in you, his niece, and perhaps for him to give a word of advice to you at times.

Therefore, I suggest that you do not ignore your uncle. Thank God for the financial help and thank God for the interest he has shown in you in general. Study hard, my dear, do well in school and go on to college and may God bless you.

Pastor