Dear Pastor,

I am 23 and have a boyfriend who is the same age. We have been friends since I was 16. I am his first girlfriend and he was my first real boyfriend. I was the first girl he had sex with and he was the first man I had sex with, so both of us took each other's virginity and we promised each other that we would get married and nobody would come between us.

When he was 18, he went to America. He was supposed to come back to Jamaica but he didn't return until one year later. I kept asking him if he found any girl up there and he said no, until, one day, he told me that he met a girl but he is only playing around with her but there is nothing serious. I asked him if he had sex with her and he told me yes, but he used a condom. He also said that she was a kind of wild girl.

When he came back to Jamaica, he was a changed man. He wanted sex and more sex and he wanted me to perform oral sex on him, which I did because he did it to me first. I forgave him for having sex with another girl because I knew I was not around for him to get it from me.

Now, pastor, I am having a problem because I have found out that he is fooling around drugs. He smokes ganja and I suspect that he might be dealing in it. He always has money and he is not working. He said that it is his parents who are living abroad and also send money for him. But I do not believe him. When I asked him why he is smoking so hard, he said that it is to relieve stress.

Pastor, I am in a good job and I love my boyfriend, but I do not want a man who smokes ganja or deal in drugs. Sometimes when he smokes, he gets erratic and that's the only time he speaks to me in a rough manner. Even one of my sisters noticed his behaviour and asked me about it. So, pastor, please give me your advice.

T.K.

Dear T.K.,

I suggest that you encourage your boyfriend to seek help. I am sure that by now he knows that you do not like his smoking of ganja. Tell him also that you suspect that he is fooling around other drugs, therefore, you would like for him to try and get professional help. Tell him to call Rise Life Management. He may say that nothing is wrong with him, but you should tell him that when he smokes the ganja, he becomes erratic and not a pleasure to be around.

Pastor