Dear Pastor,

I hope all is well with you because all isn't well with me.

I am 20 and used to be a Christian. Since I have fallen off with God, all has gone wrong in my life. My life has taken turn for the worse. I was with a woman who is older than I am. We grew to love each other, but broke up after three years of being together.

She got close with my mother. My mother loves her so much that she tells her things. After parting, she got pregnant and said I was the father. I believed her but most of my relatives didn't. She said something to me that shocked me. She asked me if I thought that my father was my biological father. I was speechless because I am the only child of brown complexion for my parents. My two brothers are of black complexion.

I am wondering if I should ask my mother about it because I want to know the truth.

A.

Dear A.,

I believe what you are trying to say is that you suspect that, because of the closeness of your ex-girlfriend and your mother, your mother might have confided in her and told her that you have your father's surname but he is not your biological father. On the other hand, this young woman might have observed that you are the only child in the family who is of light complexion, so probably you are of a different father.

You have a right to be concerned. What she might be telling you is that you shouldn't worry about whether you are the biological father of the child she is carrying because you are not your father's biological son, but he has accepted you. You should settle this matter by telling your mother (not your father) what this girl said. Therefore, you felt compelled to raise the matter with her. Please be careful how you speak to your mother about this matter. Let her know you are only seeking the truth and, regardless of what she says to you, it will remain between the both of you.

Concerning the child this young woman is carrying, I know you can count so you should know how old her pregnancy is, the last time you had unprotected sex and whether the possibility exist that you impregnated her. Don't allow her to make a fool of you. Remember that after the child is born, you can insist on a DNA test.

Pastor