Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column for many years and I have learnt a lot. Sometimes I used to wonder why people write you these things. I used to say to myself, 'why are these girls so stupid? Why can't they answer these things for themselves?' But when I started to have boyfriends, I fell into some of the same traps that these girls got into.

Pastor, I am 18 years old and I have had sex with more than 20 guys. The last guy I had sex with told me that he loves me but we could only be good friends. He couldn't marry me because I have had sex with too many men and I am stretched out. I asked him how he knows that I have had sex with many men and he said that he has experience and because a girl my age should be tighter than I am. I felt so ashamed, but we are still friends.

worried

I am worried because I would like to get married and I want to find out what can be done to tighten up my vagina.

I used to have a boyfriend and he was a singer. Every time he picked me up we used to have sex in all different ways. When we started to have sex and I told him that he was large, he said that I will get accustomed to him. We broke up after he got me pregnant. He gave me the money to do an abortion. He has many children and he hardly gave me any money.

I talked to a big woman who has six children and I told her what the guy told me and she said no man has ever told her that and she has children so I should look after myself.

Pastor, please help me and tell me what to do because I can't let my friends know that I have sex with so many guys and I am still young.

I.W.

Dear I.W.,

First of all, let me thank you for reading my column for many years and for expressing your confidence in me. However, I am disappointed to hear that you have not been good to yourself. You have been very promiscuous. I am not condemning you. You have made grave mistakes but you can stop, turn around and head in the right direction. You have not been very wise. You have not had one boyfriend but 20. And now one has shocked you by declaring that your vagina is too loose. Should you be worried? Perhaps not, but you should be concerned.

Kegel exercises

The last young man with whom you had sex opened your eyes. So now you want to know what can be done to tighten up your vagina. I would suggest that you learn to do Kegel exercises. This can be done in the privacy of your bedroom. "The pelvic floor muscles are the same muscles that you use to control your urine flow. The exercises involve squeezing, holding (for several seconds), and then releasing these muscles several times per session, a few times a day. They can be done anywhere, anytime. This is supposed to help tighten up the vagina." These exercises should be done 10-15 minutes per session and at least three times per day.

I also suggest that you change your lifestyle. You shouldn't be having sex with Tom, Dick and Harry, so to speak. If you continue, you will develop a bad reputation and may cause you to suffer some physical problems in the years ahead.

Pastor