Dear Pastor,

I enjoy listening to your show. It is very inspiring and educational. I am having a problem. I am living with my girlfriend. She is 30 and I am 21. When we are with our friends, she is always talking down to me like she doesn't respect me. When we are alone, she tells me how much she loves me and respects me. She has a three-year-old son. The little boy loves me and I try to play a father's role.

My mother is always quarrelling and telling me that I should find a girlfriend my age. Every time I tried to leave this woman, she finds me and begs me to come back. I am not working, so she helps me out with money. She has a good job and she gives me her car to pick up her son, but she is always calling my phone to find out where I am. I have an older sister and both of them are in the same age. My sister asked her why she is not leaving me and she said her child's father will laugh at her because he told her that no man is going to stay with her because she is bossy.

This woman is planning to migrate to Canada and I would like to go with her, but she says that I can't go right away because I am not qualified. But,she said, she would come back and marry me. I like to have sex with her. She has taught me lots of things. She is the first woman who allowed me to have sex with her while she was seeing her period. Sometimes I don't know what to, so please give me your advice.

R.C.

Dear R.C.,

This young lady sees you as a boy and someone she can push around. You are not doing yourself any good by staying with her. It is convenient for her to have you as her lover because she can push you around, but she was unable to push around her child's father. Your mother and sister are correct. You should end the relationship with her.

Why is it that this woman and you are having sex, even when she is seeing her menses? That is not something I encourage couples to do. I know some couples say that they enjoy having sex during that time. But I would not recommend that. You have not said anything about attending school. At present, you are not working. You should try and get yourself a career and not rely on a woman to support you. If you do not have CXC passes, try to get some of them.

Have you ever considered going to HEART Trust/NTA? Your girlfriend is planning to migrate and she says you can't go because you are not qualified. So, you see, you are only good to meet her sexual needs in Jamaica or to pick up her son. It is time to think about your future.