Dear Pastor,

I am a 24-year-old female and I have been living with a 50-year old man and my five-year-old son, who is not his. But he loves my son dearly and takes good care of him.

We have been together for the past five years. He has never paid me any attention. He doesn't care about me. He has no respect for me. He comes in when he feels. He talks on his phone to girls as he pleases for hours at nights. He never has time to talk to me or do anything. I am still trying with him.

Three months ago, I met this other guy who liked me a long time but I didn't take the time to talk with him. One day, I decided to have a talk and the same things I was thinking about he told me. It is like God has sent me to him to open his eyes. He started crying and he told me that I reminded him so much of his mother, who is dead.

Each day as I get to know him more, my love is growing stronger for him, and he told me the same. He makes me feel so happy and he always makes me laugh. I need you advice. Pastor, I don't know what to do.

T.M.

Dear T.M.,

Just remember that you are not this man's mother. And if you were to become intimate with him, he would expect you to treat him as his mother. And you cannot take the place of his mother. Before you begin to get carried away with this new guy, may I suggest that you have a long talk with the man with whom you are living and find out whether he intends to change and treat you better. If he is willing start treating you with respect, tell him that both of you should go together to see a family counsellor. If he is not interested in doing so, then you should move on.

Pastor