Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column and like other people, I need your advice. I am 27 years old and my girlfriend is 24. We have been lovers for the past 15 months. I met her when I was working in the west. When my company moved me back to Kingston, we kept corresponding and she wanted to come and be with me in Kingston. I invited her up to spend a weekend at my parents' home, and she came. My parents like her.

After she went home, she said that she wanted to come back to Kingston and live with me. I rented half of a house and furnished it and told her to come. I hired a vehicle and went for her. It is now six months since we have been living together and it is only now she is telling me that she has a son and the child is living with his father.

Pastor, how can I trust this girl? When I met her, she asked me if I had children and I told her no. I asked her if she had any and she told me no. And now she is saying that she has a child. I asked my father for advice and he told me that I should send her back home. My mother says that it is up to me, but she wouldn't trust her. When I told her that she would have to go home, she started to cry.

Please, Pastor, give me your advice.

E.C.

Dear E.C.,

This young woman is not proud to be a mother. Perhaps she did not mean to deceive you, but she believed that you would not have been interested in her if she had told you that she has a child, considering that you are not yet a father. She made a big mistake.

However, contrary to what your parents told you, I would say to you, that there is always a place for forgiveness. And if you genuinely love her, forgive her and both of you do your best to build a lasting relationship.

It may take a long time for you to learn to trust her, but the Bible says, love covers a multitude of sin. You may need the help of a family counsellor. Nothing is more powerful than love. I hope that there will be no more surprises coming from her.

Pastor