Dear Pastor,

Congratulations on the wonderful work you are doing. I have been reading your column and listen to your radio programme. You are good in what you are doing. I am writing you because I am having a problem. My sister and her husband are divorced.

They were married for six years and was always accusing him of having other women. She finally proved to us that she was right when her husband admitted that he had a girl who was pregnant for him. He said it happened because my sister was nagging him about other women, even when he was not guilty. Sometimes she withheld sex from him and called his penis dirty.

He stopped having sex with her and had a one-night stand with the girl and she got pregnant. My sister did not believe him and the relationship deteriorated and ended in divorce.

This man and I remained good friends. I refused to take sides. I am not married. Sometimes he would come to my house just to chat and sometimes we would go to Port Royal to eat fish, but there was nothing in it.

After a while, I got to love his company. When I didn't see or hear from him, I would call. One evening when he called and invited me out, I told him no. He wanted to know why. I told him we were getting too close. He said he would come and we would just talk.

I love this man

We did not go out that evening but he came to see me. He told me he loved me and wanted us to be more than just friends. I protested but, in my heart, I knew I loved this man.

After a year, we had sex and started to go out regularly. My sister and I were always close, but since she heard I am having a relationship with her ex-husband, she has stopped talking to me. She has been calling me nasty names.

My mother is against the relationship, but this man and I are in love. I would like your opinion.

A.C.

Dear A.C.,

There are some things in life that are not illegal but not morally right. The relationship you are having with your former brother-in-law falls into that category. Your sister was right all along. This man was having affairs with other women. It was only after he got a woman pregnant, he admitted and blamed your sister for his behaviour.

Girl, you are behaving as one who does not have any shame. How could you believe this deceptive and cunning man, and become emotionally and sexually involved with him?

Some people may say the man is already divorced so both of you are free to do whatever you wish to do. However, I say shame on you. If you had any pride at all before, you are walking on it now. You cannot play with fire and don't get burnt.

When this man started to visit you often and inviting you out, you should have stopped him.

You should not have gone on dates with him. Even now it is not too late to end the relationship with this man. Family is important and you are destroying good family relations. You should not have gone to bed with this man.

So, I am begging you to stop this relationship now. Tell your sisteryou are sorry for the pain you have caused her.

Pastor