Dear Pastor,

I am 42 and am living in the USA. I met a man from Jamaica online who at the time was living in Cuba. We talked for 2 years online and on the phone until we decided that it was time to meet in person. He has family members living here in the USA.

I met him and we went to bed. As time passed, we became closer so I told him I can't do long distance relationship. He introduced me to his family, and so far it seems as if they approve of me because they said I am the first woman they ever seen him bring home.

Pastor, for the two years we dated online. We talked about everything, good and bad, so I thought this man has his head on his body and his wild and careless days were behind him. Everything was going well until he chose to go back to Jamaica to live and do some form of business. There and then names of women started popping up but one of the names stood out.

I went to visit him and I saw a text and from there I knew something was wrong. Next thing you know, we started having problems. I got married to him almost two years ago so he could come here to live with me and my kids. He has one child too, which I adore. I filed for both of them.

One night of last year I found out that he slept out. We had a fight. I stopped talking to him and I put his paper work on hold but deep down I was thinking about his child

I saw him over the Christmas holiday and I cried. He was only skin and bone. He asked me to put the past behind us. He confessed and said he is asking me to forgive him. I do want to put the past behind me but deep down when I remember all the things he has done to me, I don't know how to do that.

He and his child went to the immigration for interview and they got through, so now he is on his way up to the USA. My family and friends thinks that one day I am going to come home and find him gone. But he said that he needs a second chance because he realised that I do love him.

Pastor, what should I do? I still care for him but I am willing to walk away. Please help me think clear because deep down I am asking myself what has this man brought to my life other than misery. At his age he should be thinking about getting old and what we have to save to live off. We are both in our 40's and all he does is mess around with young girls and married women who don't have anything to give him. He also has problems letting go off his ex-girlfriends.

Please be blunt with me, sir.

Online Lover

Dear Online Lover,

This is a marriage of convenience. You are not sure that this man loves you. You know that you love him and married him to give him the opportunity to live with you in the USA. I can only hope that he will stop chasing skirts. Time would tell, but don't expect a miracle to take place. Perhaps you can arrange for both of you to meet with a family counsellor.

Pastor