Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you from North America. I have a problem. I am currently fighting to keep out of prison. I have my babymother in Jamaica. When I came to America, I got involved with a girl. I was staying with a friend but I wasn't able to stay there for long. So this girl took me in. No matter what I did I couldn't satisfy her. She wanted every cent from me. I told her I have to send money to my babymother. She texted my babymother and told her that she should take her mind off me because we are married. I told my babymother that it is not true, but she doesn't believe me.

Pastor, I am fretting because my babymother is now having an affair with a friend of mine in Jamaica. She said that I am giving her 'bun' so she can do the same. I called her and tried to explain everything and she refused to believe me. I called her back and I started to cry when she told me the name of the man she was having sex with. This man and I used to work together and he is living with his children's mother. I didn't expect him to do that to me.

Pastor, one night my girlfriend in America and I got into an argument about the lies she told my babymother. And although I didn't hit her, she threatened to call the police on me. I had to get out of the house and hang out in a club just to keep out of trouble. I am here but I am not straight. But I can't come home because I do not have a job in Jamaica and I don't have a green card. I left my clothes and everything at this girl's house, but I am afraid to go back there. She told me that I can come back, but I am not taking any chances.

My babymother reads your column, so I hope she will see this letter and believe me. I would like to come back to Jamaica and marry her when I get my green card. I am presently staying with a friend and his wife in their basement.

R.J.

Dear R.J.,

Try your very best to stay out of trouble. Keep out of this young woman's way. Make an appointment and go and discuss your situation with an immigration lawyer.

Although you love your child's mother in Jamaica, you should not beg her to renew the relationship with you. If you know for sure that she is having an intimate relationship, perhaps it is time for you to support your child and wish her well. A man should not stay with a woman regardless of what she does. Because if he does so, she is likely to continue to be unfaithful to him or to give you 'bun', as people commonly say.

Remember that you are not without fault. You got involved with another woman and your girlfriend believes that the relationship is permanent, especially hearing from the woman with whom you were living.

As far as your child's mother is concerned, she does not believe that she is doing anything wrong by getting involved with another man because you got involved with a woman in the States.

Pastor