Dear Pastor,

I have a boyfriend and we have been together for many years. The relationship cooled down when I left Jamaica. I got involved with another man in America. I never stopped thinking about my Jamaican boyfriend. I tried to get in touch with my guy in Jamaica and, eventually, the link was restored and I was very happy. As soon as I was able, I went back to Jamaica to see him. We had wild sex. I hated to leave him and return to the States.

begging him

My boyfriend got involved with another girl and was sleeping with her. When I challenged him to tell me the truth about her, he couldn't give me a straight story. We talked it over and I forgave him. Pastor, the sex is not as nice with him as with my boyfriend in Jamaica. I have to be begging him to have sex with me and he is always at the girl's house.

If my Jamaican boyfriend was living here, I wouldn't waste my time with him. I still love him. I am not having much fun with him anymore. Our relationship is dry and there isn't much to it these days. Am I wasting my time, Pastor?

Initials Withheld

Dear Initials Withheld,

Before you went to Jamaica, this guy had another woman. It is not because of what you did why he got sexually involved with another woman.

She was there while he and you were having a relationship.

The guy in Jamaica could be described as 'old fire stick.' It was not difficult for the both of you to renew the relationship. While you were on vacation, you found him irresistible, so you continued to have sex with him until you left.

When you return to America, you told your other boyfriend about the rendezvous, then you discovered he was having the time of his life with another woman.

Frankly, you have to come to realise that this young man in America doesn't care much about you.

Although he has another woman, he sees you as a cheater. Both of you are cheaters, but he is putting all the blame on you. Leave him alone. You know your heart is with your Jamaican boyfriend, so I suggest that after college and you are employed and financially able, that you return to Jamaica, marry him and file for him to live with you in America.

Pastor