Dear Pastor,

This is crazy but I need to have an answer. Please, answer my letter. I am a 19-year-old girl and a university student. I am not a bad girl, but I got into something that was really bad.

During the Christmas break, a girlfriend invited me to spend a weekend with her. She is 20 and we attended the same high school. Her family are nice people, and everybody treated me well when I was there.

She has her own room and so we slept together. The first night we chatted for almost the entire night, just talking girls stuff. That was on the Friday. On the Saturday night we went to a party and I had too much to drink. I didn't know when we got back to her place or how.

What I do know was that in the morning I found myself naked and my friend was also naked and we were in bed. She tried to explain to me that she took me home and that both of us fooled around each other.

Pastor, I am not into girls. I am a virgin. This girl fingered me. She said she was sorry but she has always liked me. I know she didn't drug me. I drank too much, but I hate what she did to me.

She has a boyfriend and they love each other. I will never go back to her house. She is still my friend, but we are not close as before. I have a boyfriend too. Do you think I should tell him what happened? We are just getting to know each other.

V.B.

Dear V.B.,

Your girlfriend and you had too much to drink, but she did not get drunk. She knew what she was doing. She took advantage of you. How sad! You will never forget this bad experience.

You thought you knew this young girl very well but, evidently, you didn't. So you will have to know your friends well before spending weekends with them, or going out with them.

As to whether you should tell your boyfriend about this unfortunate experience, my answer is no. Please do not say anything to your closest friends, or anybody, about it. If you feel haunted by what has happened, you should see a family counsellor in person.

Pastor