Dear Pastor,

I thank you for replying to my letter, and I am not surprised that you did not understand what I was talking about, being that I was too discreet. The reason for this is because my mother is a frequent reader of your column and I would hate to know that she recognises me as the writer.

I am 21 and the problem I was referring to in my first letter is the constant cry for help. I want to be more open in discussing my problems because I tend to keep them to myself, which is only making matters worse. I have grown up seeing my mother being verbally and physically abused. And at my age, I should be getting over that but instead I am fighting for her whenever there is a quarrel between my father and her.

When I was 16 years old, my brother started to physically abuse me and still continues to do so. This has caused me to have doubts in getting pregnant because I have been having pains in my lower abdomen.

There are always problems in my household because my father is a drunkard and a womaniser and he doesn't give us much attention. In addition to that, everything that is being said, all come as stress to me, especially with the fact that I'm finding it hard to let go of my past. I don't have many friends so at times I'll just cry like there is no tomorrow. One will never be able to satisfy people in this world, so whatever I do is always criticised.

Currently, I am working and I am happy where that is concerned. But I would be even happier if I were attending church like I used to and I would be most grateful if my parents would cease from hurting each other.

There are times when I would go crazy in letting my voice be heard. My family believes that I am still a child, so breaking rules is what I must do in order to portray that I am not what they think I am.

With all my actions, I have grown and realised that my only happiness is in the Lord. God bless you.

Troubled and Concerned

Dear Troubled and Concerned,

You are 21 years old and you are not happy at home. I suggest, therefore, that if you believe that you can manage on your own, that you tell your parents you are leaving and that you rent an apartment and live on your own and pay your own bills. I wish you well.

Pastor