Dear Pastor,

It is a long time I have wanted to write to you, but the time has come for me to do so. I am 55 and I was married twice. My first wife was unfaithful to me so I divorced her. My second wife set a trap for me and I fell right into it.

She caught me in bed with her niece. Her niece and I have always got along and my wife knew that. She set her niece on me and one evening after I left work before going home, I went to her house. She asked me to go and buy some pizza. She said that's what she wanted to eat. When I came back, she told me that the door was not locked and I went in and she faced me in her nude. It took me a little while to agree to have sex with her, but finally I agreed.

She took me into her bathroom and stripped me and I had a shower. She scrubbed me all over and dried me off. When we were in bed, my wife called me and asked me where I was and I told her I will soon come home.

In about 20 minutes my wife showed up and walked right in on us. I begged her not to make a scene and her niece was not saying anything. She did not attack her niece, but she attacked me. I was so ashamed. She left me there. And when I went home, she had my clothes packed. What couldn't hold in my suitcase was put in garbage bags.

I tried to beg her to forgive me, but she wouldn't listen. I called her niece and told her that I would have to come back there and spend the night and she told me that I wasn't welcome there because she didn't want her boyfriend to come and see me there. She wasn't sorry for me, she was laughing while talking to me. And it was then I realised that what happened was a set-up between my wife and her.

My wife wanted to get rid of me. The house was hers and before we got married we signed a prenuptial agreement. Pastor, that American woman brought me to my knees. Every pay cheque I got I gave it to her and she threw me out of her house with nothing.

I was wrong to get carried away with her niece, but I know for sure that it was a set-up. I hear sometimes on your show where women are talking about men, but I will never trust another woman. I will never get married again.

I am planning to come back to Jamaica as soon as I am in a position to get social security. My relatives have land in the country and I will do farming. Do you think that's a good idea?

C.H.

Dear C.H.,

It appears that you were indeed tricked. The trap was set for you and you got caught. I wonder how much money your wife paid her niece to lure you. The way it was done would not have made you suspicious. The young girl wanted pizza and she asked you to go get it. Of course, she could have ordered the pizza and they would have delivered it. She did everything to give her aunt time to get to the house. She wanted you to feel special so she gave you a good bath and made you feel as if you were a king.

Brother, you only have yourself to blame. You shouldn't blame your wife for what has happened. You should blame yourself. There must have been something wrong in your relationship why your wife felt that she could set such a trap for you. Perhaps you have had other women in your life. Perhaps she became aware that you showed more interest in her niece than in her as your wife, so she conspired with her niece to trap you.

You have not told the whole story. However, I am sorry to hear that the relationship with your wife has been destroyed. I hope by now you have found a good place to live.

You are not a young man but you would have to learn to pick up the pieces and move on. You say you will never trust women again, but have you ever wondered if women should trust you?

Your wife and you signed a pre-nuptial agreement and you went to live in her house and you gave her your pay cheques. Are you now totally broke? Now you should know that a woman could either help to build or break a man down. Try to buy your own house. And whether you change your mind or not about a future relationship with a woman, you will have a place to call your own.

Although there are exceptions to the rule, women don't want to lose good men.

You are 'yawdie' and anyone from yard who wants to return should do so when the time is right. It does not appear to me that the time is right for you.

Pastor