Dear Pastor,

I am 40 and married for the past 10 years. Before I got married, I slept around with some of the guys in my neighbourhood. Then I became a Christian and I moved to Kingston and I met my husband.

I told him everything about my past. He told me that I shouldn't think about that because he is in love with me. I was living with my sister and her husband, and after I got a job, I went to live on my own. My boyfriend used to visit me and we started to have sex. We planned our wedding and then I missed my period and we moved up the date of our wedding.

Seven months after we got married, I had the baby. So the people in the church knew that we were having sex. To this day, the pastor has never said a word to us. One day, his wife asked me if the baby was premature. I didn't answer her. When the time came for the church to appoint deacons, the people expected my husband to be one, but they did not give it to him. And we knew that it was because of what we did why he didn't get the position. It bothered him a lot.

My husband went on farm work and when he came back he told me he had something to confess to me. He told me he had sex with two different girls when he was away. I was so shocked! I asked him if he used condoms, and he said yes. But when I started to quarrel with him, he brought up everything that I told him I had done before I became a Christian. I started to cry, and he said that he was going to get baptised again and start all over. I told him that he shouldn't because everybody was going to want to know what happened why he was getting baptised again. So he didn't get baptised.

He wants to go back on the farm work, but I am afraid he will do the same thing again. I have never cheated on him. We are not living in Kingston anymore. We have our own house in St. Catherine.

Please tell me what to do.

E.T.

Dear E.T.,

I supposed you believe that you were coming clean when you told your husband about the type of life you lived before you became a Christian. It is unfortunate that he is using that against you. The past is the past and you should not allow what he is saying to affect you. Try to do what is right at all times. You can't watch your man, just pray for him and encourage him to go to church and serve the Lord.

Pastor