Dear Pastor,

I am 32 years old. I have been with my boyfriend, who is 10 years older, for three years. The relationship has been going great so far and we have been talking about getting married.

But there is an issue that is bothering me that would prevent me from marrying him. He seems to be interested in having anal sex with me now. I am not interested in doing so.

Is he gay? Can a straight man be interested in anal sex? Please tell me what I should do.

R.H.

Dear R.H.,

I cannot encourage any couple to engage in anal sex. I am not here to condemn anybody, but I have to be true to my own conviction. The anus is never clean. And no man should insist that his woman engage in anal sex.

Anal sex

The anus was not designed to be penetrated from outside. And one needs to constantly remind himself that "the basic purpose of the anus is to keep faecal matter, which is full of germs, inside the colon until it is time to be released ..." Therefore, a couple should find other ways of enjoying sex without engaging in anal sex.

You ask whether your boyfriend is gay. That is a question you should address to him. Why is it that, after three years, he is now interested in engaging in anal sex? You should also try to find out whether or not he is bisexual.

Pastor