Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you and all the people who work for you. I am 29 and a nurse. What I am about to tell you is something that I never thought could happen to me. I used to curse women who do what I have found myself doing. I know it is wrong but I am stuck in it.

I am having an affair with the husband of my best friend. It started before he got married to her, but at that time I was separated from my husband but not divorced. I knew he was seeing her, but I was secretly seeing him too because I have always loved him and I enjoy having sex with him. He is so romantic and helpful.

His wife trusts him with me and I am the only woman she trusts with him and I can call him any time. He came to my house one day and we were having sex and my niece walked in on us. She is 16 years old. She didn't know he was there. It was my day off, so she thought I was home alone sleeping. I had to beg her not to say anything to anyone.

I love my girlfriend, but I love her husband more. I cannot afford to leave him. And both of us agree that if his wife finds out about our affair, we should deny it. I feel that I should be his wife, but it is too late now. My girlfriend deserves to have him, but I will always be available to him. Now I understand why some women hold on to good married men.

Y.H.

Dear Y.H.,

You said this man's wife is your best friend. I doubt that very much. How could you be her best friend and you are sleeping with her husband and you don't intend to stop? Perhaps secretly in your heart you would love to see them break up, so that you would be free to go public about the relationship.

This relationship will blow up. Your 16 year old niece knows about it, and she is likely to tell a relative or someone else. It is only a matter of time. Please allow the marriage of your friends to flourish. Get your own man. If you diligently seek a man, you will find one.

Pastor