I am 26 years of age and I am married to a 24-year-old man. We also have a son together who was born in October last year. My husband cheated on me in April of this year and it is bothering me. I keep on remembering all the things the girl told me that they did together. She even told me that he said he was going to leave me and be with her and that he has no kids and that she is the woman he has been waiting for all his life to have his child.

Pastor, he said he was sorry and that he was dating her for two weeks, but he never had sexual intercourse with her. I don't know what to do because it hurts, and I don't want my son to grow up without a father. For the past five years, all I did was love, care, clean and cook for this man, and he just hurt me.

calling me names

I have never thought about cheating on him, because my mother always told me that a woman cannot do what a man does and still call herself a lady. I knew when he started cheating, because he started coming late and always calling me names and telling me that he was going to leave me.

He is trying to be nice to me now, but sometimes he still gets mad at me and calls me names. I just don't know what to do because I love this man, but I am afraid that he will hurt me again.

Please advise me what to do.

K.G.

Dear K.G.,

Your husband is a liar. He lies to you and he lies to his girlfriend. He tells her the type of lies that gave her the impression that she was special and that you did not mean much to him. Every woman likes to know that she is special. I believe that he told the woman all that she told you he said about you. He doesn't have any respect for you, but you are trying to save your marriage.

Therefore, I suggest that you ask your husband to accompany you to see a family counsellor for professional help. Tell him that you do not want to see the marriage come to an end, but you feel that he is not interested. See his reaction, and if he refuses to go to see a family counsellor, you know that you should make plans to move on.

Pastor