Dear Pastor,

I am a 16-year-old female with a lot of problems. I live with my parents, brother and sister and her child. I will admit my family is not rich and my father basically provides everything. Many times he beats my mother and us the children.

I sometimes have sex with the younger boys and I indulge in a lot of sex games. I started having sex with a 19-year-old and he told me sweet things and made me feel special, but after a while another girl moved in the community and he immediately tried to get her to have sex with him. She kept turning him down. She is 14 and she knows better than I not to have sex with him and everybody else that I had sex with.

We didn't speak to each other for a while and when we did I had sex with him and we were caught. I am now living with the shame. He is now asking me to try and convince the new girl to let the three of us have sex together. Please tell me what I should do.

R.

Dear R.,

You asked me what you should do and the answer is very simple. Stop having sex with these guys. You are developing a very bad reputation by having sex with all the guys. You have to learn that these guys are only using you. You would not die if you do not have sex. The people in your community will always remember that you are very loose.

shame on you

Guys will always ask you for sex and if you consent, they are going to say that you are easy to get. And they are going to call you all sorts of names, including the "W" and the "S" words. Already your 19-year-old boyfriend has brought shame on you by having sex with you at a place that was not private.

Please, do not put yourself in any situation or place where you are alone with any guy who would want to have sex with you. Learn to keep your legs shut. Every man ought not to invade your private part. Have some pride in yourself.

Pastor