Dear Pastor,

I read your column on a regular basis. I have a problem that I can't handle. I am 18 and my ex-boyfriend is 21. We were together for three years and five months. I broke up with him because he was cheating on me, lying to me and was being disrespectful as well. He calls girls and text them in front of me and when I ask him who was he talking to or who was he texting he told me they are just friends.

One day I saw a text came in from this particular girl calling him baby and I asked him about it and he said it's just a habit she has calling all guys baby. Then another night the same girl texted him and was asking him why was he not coming to see her again. I didn't bother to ask him about it. I just handed him his phone and walked away because I suspected all that he was cheating.

hickey neck

One Sunday, he came over my house with a hickey on his neck and I asked him where he got the hickey. And he said a friend put it there to see what I would say or do if I saw it, so, I didn't comment further. Now that we broke up he is asking me for sex and he wants to talk things over with me.

The problem is that I love this guy. He was the first man I ever kissed and he was the one who took my virginity. When we broke up it was a nightmare and now that I am recovering from it, he is telling me he wants me back and the guy even try to turn my sister against me by telling her that I am dating an older man who is 36 years old. Pastor, the thing is that I love him, I miss him at times and sometimes I wish I didn't tell him it was over. I am confused. Should I give him another chance or just continue my life without him?

Depressed Teen

Dear Depressed Teen,

This guy is playing around. And even if you were to become intimate with him again, he will continue to have sex with other girls. He has not changed. He hates to know that you have ended the relationship with him. He is a typical guy who does not want to know that his girlfriend has dropped him. He is going to do his best to woo you back to him. And if you are not strong, you would fall for his sweet talk. And after you have given your body to him again, he would continue to do the same thing.

You do not have to have an intimate boyfriend. You are 18 years old and what you need to do is to get a good education, socialise with guys, go out in groups, but make sure that you do not become a toy to them.

Before I go let me warn you one more time, do not go back to your former boyfriend. He is not a good man. He has even lied on you to your sister. He is trying to say that you are promiscuous.

Keep away from him.

Pastor