One-night stand I regret

Dear Pastor,

I think I am paranoid. I had sex with a guy I only met a day before, but I was half-drunk. We used a condom, but I was so lost that I didn't check to see if all was well. He said that the condom was okay when I asked him (when we were finished), but I feel stupid for not checking to see if all was indeed well.

Now I am worried that I may have been infected with an STD/HIV from him. He hasn't spoken to me from that night as it was just a stupid one-night stand that I regret.

R.A.

Dear R.A.,

I suggest that you go to see a doctor as soon as possible and tell him/her exactly what has happened and how you are feeling. And, please, remember that you should not consume alcoholic beverage in excess. When a girl has too much to drink, she makes herself vulnerable and a man may take advantage of her. Alcoholic beverage may cause a woman to do things that she would not do when she is sober.

Pastor

Planning to leave my domino lover

Dear Pastor,

I am living with a man for over two years, but he has never given me money to go shopping. And whenever he leaves work, he doesn't come home until midnight. And whenever I ask him what took him so long, he says he was playing dominoes with his friends. We have a son together but I am planning to leave him.

T., Clarendon

Dear T.,

I understand your frustration, but what I would suggest for both of you to do is to make an appointment to see a family counsellor. If after you have seen the counsellor and this man does not change, you should move on. He ought to know that he should support his child and you and come home as soon as possible after leaving work.

Pastor

Women are smarter than men

Dear Pastor,

Women are much smarter than men. And in most cases, women use men. When I was younger I could get anything I wanted from men without doing anything from them. I got a lot from them.

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

What can I say? You were very fortunate.

Pastor

My mother stopped talking to me

Dear Pastor,

I want to know how to deal with my parents, especially my mother who has stopped talking to me for over a month because of some secrets my older sister found out about her and confronted her about it. I live with both parents and two sisters. I also have two other sisters who are living on their own. The sister who confronted my mother is my eldest. I am very uncomfortable at home. I am a Christian and I am 21 and I love the Lord. I am trying my best to live according to God's will.

I need your advice. I need to know how to deal with my mother. She doesn't support me or anything but that is not the issue. I just want to be at peace with her. I will be going to university shortly.

T.G., St. Mary

Dear T.G.,

Even if your mother is not speaking to you, make sure that you do not do anything to upset her. Be respectful at all times. Perhaps she is angry with everybody because she feels that your sister had no right to speak to her about what she knows. Pray for your mother. I am sure that everything will work out right.

Pastor