Dear Pastor,

I always read your column. I am from the United States, but I have been in a relationship with a Jamaican for a year. We are both in our early 20s. In the beginning, we had a wonderful relationship. He was very caring and always made sure I had money in my pocket and my bills were taken care of. I had never doubted his love for me until I received an email from the mother of his child who is also Jamaican and lives in Jamaica.

She said that he was her man and asked what we had going on. I told her to stop emailing me. We exchanged words and she said he did not want me and he is with her all the time. I travel back and forth to Jamaica to see him and stay at his house while I am there. We have discussed marriage and he has tried to get me pregnant several times. But lately he seems really distant. We used to talk on the phone every day and on Skype. Now, we go days without talking.

I am starting not to trust him and believe that he is still seeing the mother of his child. He tells me that I don't have anything to worry about and that he loves me.

Even though we have a long-distance relationship, I am still loyal and committed to him. I really don't know what to do. A part of me wants to just give up on our relationship, but something is holding me back. I am a very attractive young lady and know I can get another man without a problem, but I want this man. I don't think the mother of his child would just email me saying these things for no reason if they weren't still messing around.

Do you think I should take his word and continue with our relationship? Pastor, please give me your advice. I love him but I don't know if he really still feels the same way as when we started our relationship. I am really in a dilemma.

Ms Dilemma

Dear Ms Dilemma,

Whether this man was constantly talking to you because the relationship was new or whether it was true love, I cannot tell. I do know that he was very liberal in giving you financial help. But, he has changed. He hardly speaks to you now and he is not showing much interest in you anymore. That can mean a number of things: (1) He is tired of you and wants to move on. (2) He is confused and doesn't know whether he should continue the relationship with you and end the intimate relationship with his child's mother, and (3) Continue to be intimate with the both of you.

Why is this man trying to get you pregnant? How would that help the relationship? Whether you know it or not it will cause more problems. You ought to understand that his child's mother is not going to give him up easily. She will fight to keep him. You should be glad that he did not get you pregnant.

I can't say that you are fighting a losing battle, but one thing I know for sure is that this man is not treating you as if you are special in his life. So it is up to you to decide whether or not you will continue to have an intimate relationship with him.

Pastor